What is SOAP?

SOAP is an acronym for: Scripture, Observation, Application, and Prayer. As you prepare for participating in City Group this week, we invite you to write down your thoughts in a journal. Journaling is a great way to record and process your thoughts & what God is sharing with you.

Week of November 16th
What Do I Do With My Control?

OVERVIEW

We are in a series called "That's Sick!" It's often said "it's what's on the inside that counts." We believe that this teaching series will help us to take a look at what is going on inside of us. There are things like worry, anger, lust, envy, doubt, loneliness, and much more. Sometimes the internal struggles that no one else sees are the ones that blind us the most. So let's get the inside story on how God offers hope and strength for overcoming these battles in this series,

KEY POINTS

The sickness of "Control" within us is often driven by a deep-seated need for control, often stemming from insecurity, anxiety, or perfectionism. This behavior is fear based and an attempt to manage our own anxiety about life not going as planned.

No.1 - How do I know that I struggle with control?

  • Micromanaging - Constantly overseeing and directing others work, assuming no one else can do it correctly.
  • Being critical - Frequently finding fault with others actions, appearance, or decisions, often in a demeaning way.
  • Manipulation and lying - Distorting reality to your advantage, sometimes through "gas lighting" to get your way.
  • Financial control - Micromanaging the household finances in order to control spouses choices, or even our kids choices.
  • Isolation - Controlling a friends or lvoed one's social life, limiting friends or movements to keep people more dependent on yourself.
  • Black-or-white thinking - Believing you are absolutely right and "they" are absolutely wrong and having difficulty with nuance or "in-between" situations.
  • Constant need for attention - Trying to be the center of attention and upstaging others.

No.2 - How do we "Lose Control."

  • Surrender your fear to Jesus.
    • Fear of rejection
    • Fear of failure
    • Fear of the unknown
  • Surrender the details to Jesus.
  • Surrender your whole life to Jesus. Go ALL IN.

SCRIPTURE

As we read aloud through these verses, let's pause, reflect, and listen for what Holy Spirit might be saying to you through the Word of God.

Key scriptures from Sunday.

  • Isaiah 41:10 "So do not fear, for I am with you;… for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”    

  • Proverbs 3:5-6 NLT "Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding…and he will direct your paths.”  

  • Psalms 51:1-2 NLT "Have mercy on me, O God, because of your unfailing love. Because of your great compassion, blot out the stain of my sins.  Wash me clean from my guilt. Purify me from my sin.”   

Additional scriptures:

Verses about God's sovereign control:

  • 2 Samuel 11
  • Proverbs 3:5-6; 16:9; 19:21; 21:30
  • Ecclesiastes 7:13
  • Lamentations 3:37
  • Jeremiah 32:41
  • James 4:13-15
  • Romans 8:28-30
  • Philippians 2:13

Verses to help you discover the truth about God's goodness:

  • Jeremiah 29:11; 32:40-41
  • Isaiah 41:10; 43:1-2
  • Matthew 6:25-27
  • 1 Corinthians 10:12-14
  • Romans 8:28,38-39
  • Hebrews 13:5-6
  • Philippians 1:6; 4:19
  • 1 Peter 5:7

OBSERVATION

Ultimately, our desire to control comes stems from fear and the belief that God is not truly good and He may not come through for us. Confidence in God’s sovereignty, wisdom and goodness enables us to surrender control of our lives to Him. Our fear (reverence) of the Lord swallows up all our other fears.

Q. 1. Whom and/or what do you try to control? What fear is motivating this need to be in control? What are some of your controlling behaviors? How do these behaviors affect your relationships? What negative results have you experienced when you’ve acted like a control freak?

Q. 2. On a scale of 1-10 (1= hardly at all and 10=off the charts), how fearful are you of surrendering your life, totally, to God? What details of your life are you afraid to surrender to God? What truth about God’s sovereign good- ness do you need to believe in order to trust God with these details?

Q. 3. Share a time when you surrendered your life or some situation to God. How did this impact your life in a positive way? What area(s) of your life is God wanting you to surrender now? What risk do you need to take in order to trust God with the details of your life?

Personal Reflection Question: 

  • Identify the persons or situations that you try to control. Ask God to show you the controlling behaviors that need to stop. Depend on His life within you to make these changes.

APPLICATION

  • This week: Be honest with God about your fears and make it your daily goal to surrender fully to Him. Write out verses that address your fears and focus on them throughout the week.
  • Whenever you notice controlling behavior in yourself, acknowledge it and your fear to God. Thank God for the situation or person and trust Him to work all things together for your good.

PRAYER

Heavenly Father, we ask for forgiveness for where we have allowed fear and the behaviour of control to rule in our lives. Forgive us for hurting both ourselves and others. We ask for your help to direct our emotions. Control is keeping us distant from you and others. Cleanse our hearts and make us more like Jesus. Lord help us to recognize when we have grown controlling so that we may repent and draw close to you. Help us to trust that you are enough. Help us to surrender our fear, surrender the details, and surrende our whole life.  Thank you for your Word, for providing direction for us. Thank you for your Spirit that helps to lead us, guide us, and empowers us to live like you. Amen!

WATCH THE MESSAGE LISTEN TO THE MESSAGE
Next Steps

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